I was working on a New Year’s Resolution sermon. I’ve never been a big one for setting my own resolutions, so I decided to do something a little different. I asked my four kids one simple question, “What are dad’s goals for the coming year”?
My oldest son Tylee challenged me when he said he wanted me 1) to teach him more about God, 2) to teach him to be a man, and 3) to be an example worth following.
This book started as a letter to my oldest son. I have tried most of my life to be a “Man” but I can’t say I always tried to be a “Good Man”. Over the past 20 years, I have learned a few things on purpose and some things on accident. I’ve also learned one or two things about being a man, the hardest way possible and I have the scars, regrets and a few bad tattoos to prove it.
I don’t think my path to becoming a man is a normal or traditional one. My path took me through drugs and alcohol, punk rock clubs and street gangs, through the loss of faith and the rejection of God, through looking for someone to tell me I’m worthy and pushing away everyone who loved me.
I’ve learned from parents, pastors, policemen, drug dealers, ex-cons, stay at home moms, high school kids, dead men, theologians, punks, comic books, and cartoons.
Along the way I learned how to change the oil on my car, how to use power tools, how to throw a punch, what my own blood tastes like, what a broken heart feels like, how to say I am sorry, how to forgive others, I’ve learned to trust in others, to walk in faith and to love deeply and boldly.
I want you to understand where I’ve been, how I got here. I started writing a letter to my son and 200+ pages later, it became a book. This book isn’t a “How-To Book” but a letter from one man on the journey to other men on that same journey. These are my words of advice, warnings, and prayers that I hope to challenge you, encourage you and help you along your path to becoming a Focused Man.